Own Your Success

     

Transcript of my talk at March 8th, 2019 Women's Day celebration: Own your success

Good morning folks. I am excited to be here and talk to you on Women's Day.

Let me begin with saying that we are lucky. Our mothers and grandmothers did not have the kind of career choices that we have today. However despite all the progress, there are many real challenges that women face today in a professional setting.

Now, in no way am I suggesting that the onus of overcoming these challenges lies solely with the women. No, it is a corporate responsibility. Rubrik has to ensure that we can attract the best talent from a diverse set of people and provide an environment where they can deliver their best. But that is a discussion for another day. Today, I want to focus on how we can own and drive our own success.

The first thing I will say is that as women we need to step up and claim our spot. Each and everyone of us here has been hired here because we are good at what we do. You must believe in that. You cannot let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to be here or that you don't measure up. If you doubt yourself and don't speak out your opinions, then you are not only doing yourself a disservice. You are also doing Rubrik a disservice - because we don't get to hear those awesome ideas that you have, that cool feature you have thought of. You know, someone was asking me recently - "How is it being the only woman in a room full of men?", and I was like "Hmm. I am an engineer in a room full of engineers. What's my gender got to do with it?" Believe in yourself, and go your best work with passion and energy. The rest all is fluff. Be known for your work.

And then, claim credit for your success. You know, from my experience of managing and mentoring over years, I have realized that we women do not take credit for our success. You tell a man he did a good job and he thinks, "Yeah, of course! I am awesome, I did great!". You tell this to a woman and she replies, "Yes, I worked hard. And I had someone's support. And so on". No! You did the work, be proud of taking the credit for it. Go give that tech talk, go claim that slack channel. Own it. And then, go one step further. Go ask for what you deserve. We have an attitude that if we work hard and do our best, someone will take care of us. Yes we are a meritocracy. But you know what, this is life. And the thing is, ask and you shall get. Don't ask and you won't. So go ask for that next opportunity, ask for the bigger responsibility, that next promotion, that raise.

Now, I am aware that it is not all roses. There are many challenges that we face in the workplace and there are many biases we have to deal with. We live in a patriarchal society where men are expected to dominate and women are expected to cooperate. And again, it is Rubrik's responsibility to level the playing field for everyone. But while that happens, let us stand up for ourselves and our peers. Whenever we are faced with these non inclusive behaviors, first assume good intent, and then make an effort to correct that behavior. You know, I fundamentally think that many of these non inclusive behaviors come from unconscious bias. It is not that the people are intentionally narrow minded, it is more likely that these are their blind spots that they are not aware of. So make these moments their learning moments. And this is not only for women. We have men in this room. It is our collective responsibility to make Rubrik a place where we can bring the best people together and enable them contribute successfully irrespective of their race, color or gender. That will define Rubrik's success. So stand up for your peers.

Second thing I want to say is, build a strong partnership. Our society places the burden of managing the household solely on the women. But let's be real - there is no way you can work, manage the household alone and then compete successfully with your peers who don't have to do that. You must build a strong partnership with your partner. Make it an equal relationship where there is respect and consideration for your hopes and aspirations and priorities. Make sure that when you make compromises, and you will have to make them some time, both you and your partner make those compromises in a way that considers both of your priorities - that the balance of compromise is not all tipped in your way.

But there is another aspect of partnership - trust your partner. A few years back, I was going for a 4-day backpacking trip. My son was two year old, and my husband would take care of him while I was gone. And people around me couldn't fathom how I could leave my two year old with my husband alone. I mean, come on. I have not married a bum here. My husband is very capable and he can of course take good care of a two year old. Trust your partner to do things. Because if you can't trust, you can't delegate. And if you can't delegate, you can't grow.

When Kajal reached out to me asking for a title for my talk, I considered "Own your career'. But I really wanted to talk about success. I am experienced enough to realize that career is not success. Each of us has a different definition for what success and happiness means for us. So define your own success, figure what it means for you and then go get it. That definition will change with time, but make it your definition and decision. One word of advice here though. We live in a society where we have imbibed that  a woman's fulfillment is in taking care of her family and their happiness. Be aware of that conditioning when you define your idea of success. Make sure that you think about yourself too, your own personal desires and ambitions. You know, getting what you want is hard, but many a times, knowing what you want is harder.

I would like to end on a personal note. I had an aunt who had walked out of an abusive marriage. Due to the societal pressures, she was not allowed to take a job and earn. Her brothers provided for her, and while she never starved, it was a life devoid of dignity and self respect. And if I ever feel that this all is just another women's lib fad, I think of her. This is real folks, it is not about a fancy job and perks and a great salary. This is about economic independence, about enabling people to live a life of dignity. Thanks to the efforts of our mother's generation, we have the opportunities we have today. Now it is up to us to decide what we want to leave for our daughters. So lets get together and build a society where our daughters have equal opportunity to live as a happy and independent individuals.

That's all I had to share. Thank you!