Women Rights

I love KQED Forum, and heard one today after long. The guest was Kavita Ramdas, President, CEO of Global Fund for Women, and the topic was, of course, women rights. The podcast is here. Thats an issue close to my heart. It was a wonderfully balanced talk. S

One point that especially struck a chord with me was when Ms Ramdas quoted a comment made by Shirin Ebadi, the Iraninan Nobel Prize winner. Ms Ebadi said something on the lines that in Iran we don't have a revolution for womens rights on the streets, but there is a revolution around the kitchen table in every house. How true. That is really where women begin to assert themselves. And though its not as impressive as demonstrations in Tahrir square, each of those struggles are as complex and courageous. They are a woman's quest to assert herself as a person, while being mindful of the needs and wants of the people she cares for. And that latter part makes it incredibly difficult.

Women rights movement is greatly equated with working outside the house. I always contest that. A free woman is not the one who works out of the house. A free woman is the one who is free to make intelligent choices of what is best for herself and her family and who, when in straits, does not depend on others but is able to forge her own way. So, in short, we are not asking to become men. We do not want to. Being a woman is a wonderful gift that we won't trade for anything. All we are asking for is the right to become equal human beings, because statistically, we are at par with men.

Then comes tradition and religion. This is the biggest hurdle in the path to equality. Scriptures of most religions of the world are biased against women. Also, women themselves are biggest obstacles to anyone who tries to get away with injustices in traditions. Because suddenly, it is the word of God being challenged. And so the separation of state and church helps. State decides what legal rights citizens of a country has, and so fighting for rights with State is emotionally easier than fighting for rights against scriptures. Ofcourse, no one thinks of asking why God is so discriminatory, but thats another topic altogether.

Compared to the US, many of the South Asian, and Middle East countries have a larger population of educated women. However, they also have a big yoke of tradition that bounds them down. And many of these countries are under religious laws. So, though US women have challenges to their rights - especially the huge family planning debate - they have fared better purely because they are fighting the State and not the church. Also, US women have the legal recourses by which they can be a part of decision making and opinion making processes. This is something women in many countries lack.

And finally we come to women empowerment.

This is something close to my heart. I had an aunt who was divorced, and she depended on her brothers for a living. She and her daughter were verbally abused and insulted almost constantly. But she lived through it because she did not have an education, and any prospects of earning a livelihood for herself in a society which looked down on her. Similarly, there are so many women who live in a lousy marriage because they do not have the tools to substain themselves if they break out of it.

Looking at my aunt was the biggest motivation for me to study hard and make something out of myself. I would never be dependent on anyone for money or security. Very luckily I had parents who never thought I was any less because I was a girl, and gave me equal opportunities and encouragement. I owe a lot to them. But this is also the reason, I get so emotional when I talk to girls who give up their education, job, other things just because they are married and they think they have security.

Women empowerment comes from education. That brings about the social change, because society only tramples the weak, not the economically strong ones. But women education goes beyond just providing women with security against adversity, it also improves the quality of their household, their children. I rant against people who think that girls are going to grow up as homemakers, and they only need to study HomeScience. HomeScience is the most ridiculous subject. It teaches trivial skills of running a family, that really come naturally once you get married. Firstly, you shouldn't make assumptions of your daughter's aspirations because she is just as capable as your son. And secondly, if you are raising your daughter to raise her family, don't give her skills to give her family food for their stomachs, give her skills to give them food for their brains. I strongly strongly believe that girl education is imperative to bring about a societal change in status of women and beyond that.

I have a daughter now. And it is wonderful to see her grow. I hope I can tell her that it is what you are from inside that matters more than anything - that her capacity to think clearly and independently, to love and care, to dream and work hard - will matter more than her looks, gender, skin color or anything else. I know she will have her special sets of challenges, and hopefully she will have the clear thought and strength to navigate those.